I fiddled with my blog template today, so some things might not be working as expected. I know I’m missing at least one photo (after spending hours uploading all my photos again.) What a pain in the neck. This new template should make things better from here on out though.
I also spent six hours setting my online shop up again. Funny thing is, the site has been ready to go for a couple weeks now. I had to make some teeny tiny little adjustments to some of the wording, etc. So why the heck did it take SIX HOURS to fix? Time flies when you’re building websites.
Whoa, almost missed blogging the entire month of April. Long absence between posts means, of course, updates.
Florida
Went. Now we’re back. The weather was unseasonably pleasant for Florida, and I was happy. We all got burnt though, despite my diligent efforts to keep sunscreen on us all the time. Oh, and we saw dolphins!
Thyroid
I finally got around to seeing someone about the symptoms I’ve been having. I chose to see an alternative medicine doctor this time, against the advice of some of my family. All signs point to having mono nearly 20 years ago. I did a little reading on my own, and it seems mono/Epstein-Barr Virus, thyroid disease, and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are closely related and often go hand-in-hand. (I was diagnosed with CFS after two bouts of mono.) So, we’re treating the EBV. My doctor also explained why dairy might be a problem for me because of the EBV. So, I’m also giving up dairy for one month. Living without dairy for one month will definitely be a test of my willpower.
Procrastinate
Yeah, that’s me. I have lots of ideas for things I want to do, but the actual doing isn’t getting done. I’m hoping this miserable fatigue will start to fade away within the next couple days and I’ll be left with boundless energy. And I’m hoping *that* will make the difference between the me who wants to do things, and the me who actually does things. I make myself a to-do list every day, but it’s a little sad when I have to add things like “empty the dishwasher” to the list to feel like I’ve accomplished something.
Seriously, if I don’t start to feel better soon, I’ll have to assume I’m just lazy, and won’t that be depressing?
Thyroid
My sister suggested I get my thyroid checked. I had it checked many years ago when I first began experiencing extreme fatigue, but I was told everything was normal. Since then, I’ve accepted my symptoms as my fault. My fatigue, weakness, depression, and inability to maintain my healthiest size were all due to a flaw in my personality. Other symptoms were overlooked as things that happen when we get older. When I noticed my ankles were swollen a few weeks ago, I knew it wasn’t a personality flaw. It’s time for me to do something.
Florida
Tomorrow night, we’re leaving for Florida. Yeah, it seems sudden. It’s sudden to me too. Rob was going to take the boys to see his family, and I was going to stay home. I really dislike Florida’s weather. And staying with family for a week isn’t exactly my idea of a vacation. But then I got a pedicure and noticed how pale my feet looked, and decided I could use a little sun. I know it sounds like I’m going to Florida to tan my feet, but it’s really just the catalyst, not the cause.
Website
While I was waiting for my torch to be repaired, I built a new website. I know, this is something like the fifth or sixth time I’ve gotten a new site. I think this one will stick though. Past issues have always been either a cart I didn’t love, or a design I couldn’t manage myself. I love my new cart, and I can manage the design myself. Right now, it’s perfect. Um, we’ll see how long it lasts.
I have my torch back, so jewelry making is happening.
I’ve started to notice a change in my self-confidence lately. I don’t know the cause of the change, but it’s a good change. For the first time in a very long time, I feel valuable. My outlook is positive, even as the atmosphere in Michigan is somewhat bleak.
I started my yoga class again this week. I’ve been three times since Monday, and I tried a cardio-kickboxing class with my sister on Tuesday. My muscles are sore, but my spirit feels great. (Sore vs Soar. Get it?) I’ve decided yoga class is something more than simply an enjoyable activity to me. Yoga is important. It’s more than important. It’s necessary. I must continue to make yoga class a part of my life for the good of my whole being—mind, body, and soul.
I’ve been sitting on my new jewelry idea for a couple weeks now because my torch needs repairing. The torch is a little more than a year old, and already I’ve had to service it twice. The first problem was a faulty regulator which was upgraded at no charge to me. This time, it’s a problem with the oxygen valve. I don’t know yet what that will mean to my pocketbook. Being the impatient artist I am, it’s a little frustrating to have the idea, and the time, and the motivation, but no torch. I’m using my down time to rework my website and redesign new business cards though.
The craft show I wrote about a few weeks ago is on Saturday. Obviously, no torch means no jewelry which means no craft show for me this time. I’d like to walk the show and see if it would have been a good first show for me though. The same group holds another show in the fall, so maybe I can be ready by then. I’m not holding my breath or anything, just toying with ideas.
Vitamin D.
New jewelry design. FINALLY.
Freecycle. Finding homes for my stuff.
Making progress clearing out boxes in the studio.
Sunshine. Birds. Grass.
SPRING!
I spend a lot of time working on all the parts of my business that have nothing to do with the heart of my biz—designing and making jewelry. I procrastinate getting to the real work by fiddling with my website, or reading business advice, or making adjustments to my logo, or whatever. I’ve gotten so distracted these past several months, I’m down to just one solid collection.
I think it’s way past time to refocus. I need to stop worrying about building a site that meets my future needs and worry about designing new jewelry. (Because let’s face it, without new designs, I won’t need a website much longer.) I made 6x more money from my wholesale accounts than I did through the website last year, which tells me I need to redirect my energy. One option I’m considering is to make the website purely informational while using a site like Etsy for the retail side of the biz. Then, if the retail picks up, I’ll have a reason to integrate a cart again.
But again, I’ve been putting the cart before the horse. The jewelry needs to come first.
So, tentative plans include getting more wholesale accounts, limiting retail to Etsy (or something similar), and trying out a few art shows. And, you know, actually sitting down at the bench to make the jewelry.
The “brand new jewelry design” I talked about in my last post was a birthday gift for my sister Tracy. Now that she’s received it, I can show it off. I’m pretty happy with the way it turned out.
The design was inspired by Tracy’s first tattoo. Because the symbol holds personal meaning for her, it was a very special piece for me to make. This is the element I’ve always been looking for in my art, and the direction in which I’ve been moving during the past year. Personal symbols.
I’ve always wanted my jewelry to be personal. Now that spirituality has become an important part of my life once again, I feel like all the pieces are starting to come together. I feel like the Universe has confirmed to me that I’m on the right track.
I’ve had three very full and productive days. My routine has included scheduling some goofing off time before I start working. I don’t know if that’s the secret to my newfound productivity, but I’m assuming it’s part of it. I’ve been working 8-10 hour days, which is pretty amazing if you know me and my relaxed schedule. Even I am a little surprised.
Tonight, I finished a project I’ve been putting off for months. MONTHS. I’m terrible, I know. I also finished a brand new jewelry design. Still on the jewelry to-do list is a piece to donate to our school’s main fundraiser. I have a vague idea what I might do based on the new design I finished tonight, but I’m still working out the details.
My email and blogs have been neglected these past few days. I miss taking time to reflect on my spirit too. I’ve just been too darn busy, but it’s a good thing. I’m taking tomorrow off so I can clean up my work space, catch up on email and blogs, and contemplate the universe. In fact, I think taking Fridays off would work well as part of my new routine.
I was feeling really crummy and down for a few days, but I felt a renewed sense of purpose and direction this weekend. Hopefully, it will last long enough to get some work done.
I have some new ideas for jewelry. Also, I’m thinking about doing a craft show this spring. I’ve picked the show, but I’m not sure I can be ready in time. I’m going to work toward it and then see what happens. Having a goal is just the kind of motivation I need.
My renewed spirituality is a big part of the new direction I’m taking with my art, though it was the art that changed first. I feel like a lot of what’s been happening with me over the last year or so has been leading up to this rediscovering of spirituality. It feels good to have my art reflect my spirit. It could be the thing I’ve always sought in my art.
Some of my ideas feel solid, but I need to develop them beyond the idea phase. These next few weeks are all about making decisions about three different collections. And then I’ll start freaking out about how I’ll display at my first ever craft show.
This morning on the Today Show, there was a segment on stay-at-home-dads. The first dad they spoke to lost his job at Lehman Brothers when the economy collapsed. He and his wife both sought work, but his wife found work first. So now he’s staying home with the toddler.
I sort of ignored a lot of what he said because I couldn’t relate. That is, until he got to the part about feeling a loss of self-worth. He defined himself by his career. I could relate to that, though I’ve never defined myself by my career.
I had a definition of myself before I left high school. I was confident and ambitious and I wasn’t easily discouraged. I started to panic when I got close to leaving the safety and comfort of high school and moving on to life. I didn’t have a plan. Everyone told me it wasn’t important to have a plan, that things would just fall into place eventually. My 20 year high school class reunion is this year. I’m still waiting for things to fall into place.
I’m unable to define myself by either a career or those qualities I feel like I’ve lost because I never pursued a career. I don’t want to put into words how I define myself now. It’s not flattering.
I wonder if this is why I’m revisiting my spirituality right now. I’ve been floating around in a void for 51% of my life. The scales have tipped.
